I’m laying in bed scrolling through the dimly lit screen of my iPhone, and I can’t sleep. No, not just because of my awful habit of being on electronics before bed (I’m breaking the habit and replacing it with ASMR sounds and reading books, I swear). My mind is just buzzing with energy, deciding to pick this moment, 11pm on a weeknight of all times, to reflect on life so far and well, it won’t shut up until I vomit these jumbled thoughts out in the form of words. Enjoy.
So. July will mark one year in LA. A milestone I am excited to pass and also relieved to make it to after everything that cumulated in my arrival to my new home. So much has transpired, so many new memories, new friendships, new everything that it’s crazy to think that it’s only been a year since I packed up as much as I could fit in my little Chevy Cruze and drove West as far as I could go.
But now that I think about it, the end of May is also similarly symbolic for me, as it was the first time I’d visited the West Coast and the first time I’d been to LA. I knew by the second day I was in town that I would be making my move, staring at the Santa Monica mountain skyline from the beach walk, sand between my toes and feeling a visceral tug in my core to this place. Something inside me knew that whatever was to happen in this next part of my life, it had to happen here.
(Disclaimer: It helped that I ran into a nice man named Christian on the beach that day, who happened to also be from the exact same suburbs of Atlanta I was from, said he had lived in LA for seven years and I would definitely make the move too. Talk about the universe sending you the most obvious of signs).
I still don’t quite understand how I managed to find the fortitude to secure a (very shortlived) job in three weeks, and driven cross country three weeks after the offer to start a new chapter out here (that’s a story for another post). It wasn’t exactly smooth sailing the first couple months, but the spirit of LA (and probably some of my mom’s heavenly influence) made it very clear I was not to leave under any circumstances. And now we’re here, almost a year in and really making roots. Living with an absolutely stellar roommate who makes our apartment truly feel like a home, working a great job that shows me respect and appreciation for the work I do, living four miles away from my best friend of 15 years, and developing a community that is slowly and beautifully building as time goes on.
I put so much effort into the community part as soon as my life had hit its stride out here and I could cry salty tears of relief at where I’m at today. My community in Atlanta means the world to me, and I knew I had to give the same energy to the friends I would make in Los Angeles if I was to feel like this was home, and god am I glad I did. I found my version of “Cheers” around the corner from where I live, a sweet little taproom where I can grab a beer, some dinner, and chat with the other regulars who have quickly become friends in a judgement free space where we jovially talk about craft beer, video games and anime. I joined a queer womxn’s kickball league that has been the highlight of my spring, bringing me beautiful queer friendships and a much needed queer space where I have been able to explore my sapphic side in a way I haven’t had the opportunity to up until now. My community grows, and thus I grow too.
Life is good. Change is happening, exactly as I had hoped it would. When I set my intentions for the year, I promised myself I would explore my authentic self, which in turn has brought revelations about my own identity and where I fit into this chaotic world. I still have plenty of progress to make, pieces of me that are in there, waiting to be discovered underneath years of masking and people pleasing. Every time I find a part of myself that has been hidden underneath the facade of trying to fit in and play a role in this society, it brings an innumerable amount of joy as I feel more like myself. I see that free, happy energy attracting people who are just as magical and talented and full of life and it feels just so right. If this is what it is like to live your truth, I want to dive into the depths and let it transform me.
Looking back, I’m proud of myself for taking the risk. LA was my first big move outside of college. It was my first time living on my own as an adult. I took all these milestones I had yet to experience, turned the dial of difficulty up to 11 and still accomplished them. I feel real, unbridled happiness out here that is unmatched and I am so excited for my future here in LA. I still have my days where I gaze off at the Santa Monica palm trees in the setting sun, or the picturesque Hollywood Hills as I drive into WeHo and I think to myself, “damn, I really do live here, huh?” I don’t ever want that feeling of wonderment to fade.
This is only the beginning, and I’m stoked for what’s to come next.
Ginny Ann 